Plain and simple mates. Despite being a pirate, I am not out looking for ill gains. Should you decide to hire me for your event, I make the following promises:

I will put on a performance your guests will never forget, and will do so in a clean, safe and audience age appropriate manner.

I price my performances fairly and never pull surprises on you. I will discuss a quote and all activities with you long before your event. Should anything change, on either side, any changes will be approved by both parties. You will not have to worry about my part of the event at least.

I do not break character during a performance, ever, unless of course emergency dictates that I do. With this in mind, please know that any drunken behavior is an ACT. I do not and will not consume any alcoholic beverages before or during your event. I do not smoke or use any drugs. In reality, not in character, I am about as clean and sober a human being as you are likely to meet.

I will never insult your guests. I will tease them, but all in good fun. I have been a professional improv actor for more than 18 years and know how to treat people.

I will , in character, be flirtatious with any willing women of appropriate age. I do not handle anyone inappropriately ever. I am very happily married, so the ladies are quite safe. The men too for that matter.

The bottom line is I will do everything in my power to make your event fun, safe and memorable. If you ever have any concerns I am more than happy to discuss them with you.

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